The Goal: Reduce stress for one day This doesn’t have to be something big, and this isn’t meant to be something to add more stress! Just pick one day out of the month. Choose a day to reduce the number of appointments, obligations, and tasks. While you go about this day and fulfill the tasks, try to weave in ways that will help reduce your stress. This may look different for you than others, and that’s okay! This is just a place to start to help you on your journey to wellness. Stress, especially chronic stress, starts to feel normal and familiar. This always ‘on’ feeling or drive to be busy 24/7 is unhealthy. Stressed-out women are praised for having a good work ethic but find when they are frantic doing twenty things at a time they get exhausted quickly. This common obstacle gives us an illusion of being important, valued, wanted, or needed, and can fill our ego. We must first acknowledge the ego and comfort ourselves with the truth that our well-being is what gives us the ability to help others. If we get sick, our ability and capacity to help others quickly becomes the opposite. Instead, we become a burden on our family and friends. Dying young because you worked yourself to death doesn’t help your family. In fact, Gabor Maté has a lecture you can watch (included in September's monthly Wellness Letter) where he reads obituaries that praise the workaholics even after they passed, when if they had taken time to rest, they may have lived much longer. We are looking at the long-term gain so taking a day out of the month to deeply rest your mind and body will be a step in the right direction. It may feel awkward and different. That is good. It is a way to reset our normal pace to something more sustainable and healthy. How Stress Works: Stress is neither good nor bad. It is a part of our daily lives. In our ancient human history, stress was often from physical threats of danger. Things like bears, human conflict, nature, and such. These acute stresses came and went relatively quickly. Once it was no longer in front of you, you did not hear about it again. No TV or instant replay. The body is adapted to face this stress, adjust for our survival, and then return to a stable, calm space. However, in modern times, these stressors never go away. They are never conquered. We can’t fight, flight, or freeze effectivity from the text next week, job review, or fear-based article we just read or watched. They are sometimes called paper tigers because they look and feel real to our body’s ancient threat response system, but they will not really kill us. So, the stress chemicals build up in our body all day long and don’t return to normal unless we actively process them. This causes sleep, gut pain, and mental health issues, to name a few. Some studies link up to 70% of medical illnesses to stress-related causes. See the book recommendation below if you are interested in learning more about this. So, let’s take a day this month and actively try to reset our stress levels. How to Combat Stress:
Remember that this may look different for everyone, but in general, it may be helpful to try to understand where the stress is coming from in order to reduce it. 1- Is your to-do list enormously long? Try prioritizing just the top 3 things. (Use a sticky note to help you limit the number of items). 2- Focus on one thing at a time. You may find yourself more productive when you focus on one task at a time instead of overwhelming yourself with the length of your to-do list. 3- Try taking breaks every hour or two by expanding your breaths, practicing guided meditations, walking in nature, and refocusing on your short task list. 4- Reduce judgemental thoughts: Do you get frustrated with yourself when you feel you don’t measure up to your high standard of productivity? It’s understandable to feel that way. Try to have patience with yourself. Just take one day and allow yourself to relax without the nagging pressure of your lengthy list, time constraints, or obligations to others. You can even write a permission slip or schedule a time later to consider any judgments that come up. Set the Day Apart: Some other ideas about setting this day apart from others are doing a special routine in the morning to start your day and one at the end to finish the day. Consider the following ideas:
Time to Reflect: At the end of your day, take time to reflect. Be mindful of your thoughts, and emotions. Did you notice any difference compared to the stress of your usual day? Did you get better sleep at the end of it? Did you feel happier? Did your food taste better? What was different? Did you get your desired results? Why?
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This is, by far my favorite wellness topic to discuss. Practicing deep diaphragmatic breaths regularly throughout the day is one of the easiest things to do to improve your well-being. However, its long-term benefits and life-changing effects take a while to see a difference, so continuing to practice is the hardest part. But let's begin by talking about fresh air… Fresh Clean Air We don’t think about air quality often in our daily lives, but it is a very important element of our wellness. We exist in the air we breathe, and so, do not notice what our daily environment really looks like unless we travel to a different place. Then we might notice something is different: a salty smell by the sea, or a pollution haze in a big city. When we climb a high mountain, the oxygen concentration gets lower, and we have to breathe more rapidly to function. Everything gets harder. Thinking and moving is harder unless you have acclimated to the altitude. Unfortunately, we don’t acclimate well to polluted air. If you check out NOAA they state: “Poor air quality is responsible for an estimated more than 100,000 premature deaths in the United States each year. Costs from air pollution-related illness are estimated at $150 billion per year.” It is important to note that a great deal of suffering goes unaccounted for in humans and our entire planet. Indoor air quality is included here and can often be just as bad, if not worse. Check out the NIH for all the details. In summary, chemicals, cleaners, molds, and stale air in our homes can also cause us many health issues including respiratory diseases, allergies, mental health problems, cognitive decline, and cancer. Changing global problems on an individual level is almost impossible, so we won’t spend time here discussing the global changes that need to be made. However, we can make minor improvements by growing house plants indoors, paying attention to the products we bring home, and using good-quality air filters in our fans and furnaces. We can also plan to get outside in natural settings daily–where we are surrounded by plants and natural sunlight. Spending 15 minutes a day breathing deeply in such places can reduce anxiety, strengthen your lungs, improve mental focus, reduce fatigue, and boost your motivation. Why To Do Deep Breathing? Shallow breathing is linked to increases in anxiety and elevated heart rate. This can quickly cause a panic attack to individuals who are over-sensitive to their breathing rate. Individuals who practice deepening their breath into the lower part of the lungs often reduce the stress hormones, increase oxygen to the brain, and overall improve their mental health. By slowing the out-breath the heart rate decreases and a sense of relaxation can begin. Connect calming thoughts and a person can improve their mental functioning and resilience to stressful situations. Check out this article for some additional scientific details. Over time shallow breathing can lead to weakened lungs and diaphragm–the major muscle that contracts and pulls the air into your lungs. A lifetime of shallow breathing can result in a very weak breath which increases the risk of dying from pneumonia. This is one of the major causes of death in older individuals who have multiple chronic health conditions they are managing. This doesn't sound like fun, so let's make it a habit to breathe deeply and strengthen your diaphragm. Bonus points: it also helps improve your posture. How To Do Deep Diaphragmatic Breathing? Doing deep breathing starts in your posture. In order for your lungs to have enough room to expand you need to lift your sternum up, pull your shoulders back and make room for your diaphragm to expand down into your belly. Then slowly allow your ribs to expand outward. You can place your hand on the side of your ribs and feel the movement pushing outwards to help open and focus the mind on the expanding movements. Allow the air to fill the entire chest cavity, and then maybe just a little more. The diaphragm is a dome shaped muscle that when it contracts, it flattens downwards. This pushes the stomach out in front. As this happens the lungs fill with air. The lungs’ capacity is rarely reached in normal breathing, but when we focus we can get the oxygen rich air deep into the lower parts of the lungs where we have more surface area for the oxygen to pass into the bloodstream. This also allows for more carbon dioxide to be released from the body. Focus on deepening the air into the lower parts of the lungs and slowing down your exhale. The process of slowing down your out-breath allows more time for the oxygen to exchange place with the carbon dioxide. This makes the breath more efficient. This also begins to slow the heart-rate down and can decrease blood pressure. All of these small signals reach the brain and begin to downshift the release of stress chemicals that are being released, allowing the body to calm down. With practice, and by tuning into the body during the breathing process, a person can reverse anxiety symptoms such as tension in the neck, shoulders, abdomen, and can slow down overthinking and overwhelming emotions. Altitude Tip: Back to climbing mountains… There is a lesson to learn here as well. If you are hiking at altitudes higher than your normal, then your body will send signals to make more red blood cells. This can take a few days. The red blood cells then have the ability to carry more oxygen to the cells of your body, thus improving your mental and physical performance. This works so well that athletes try to spend time in high-altitude areas before their competitions. However, if you don’t change the way you breathe, then this biological change does not help you as much as it could. Mountaineers often take a deep breath and then take a step, when walking up very steep high-altitude mountains. This helps them take full advantage of the air they can get. Modern oxygen tanks help many people reach the highest summits without the proper acclimation process, presenting its own problems. Improve your air quality: Breathe! Get 10-15 minutes of fresh air outside in the sunshine if possible, or just practice diaphragm breathing for 1-2 minutes 3-5 times throughout the day. Focus attention on the joy of your breath and being alive. I want to share with you the first step I always take when looking at my wellness and what I need to improve. It involves water! Yes! It's obvious, but increasing the amount of water, I drink daily is a priority. You have likely heard all of the reasons, and may even feel some guilt about this so I will share my perspective with you. A few years ago, I did deep-diving research into the CDC website on reasons for death in every decade of life. I then compiled the information with the associated diseases and then found 10 common things a person could do to reduce their risk of dying and even more importantly suffering for a long, long time. I am not afraid of dying, but I do not want to suffer from long-term illness and be confined to a recliner in my older years. I take that back any of my years… We need to drink enough water daily to keep our body tissues healthy. First of all, without enough water in our body, the blood volume goes down, blood vessels constrict, and the heart has to beat faster. (This alone can cause anxiety in people susceptible to heart rate changes associated with panic attacks). Then, think about the organs that are affected? Kidneys and the Liver are the first that come to my mind. These organs need consistent, pure water to flush out toxins and clean the blood system. When we don't have enough, these organs must work much harder and can not do the job adequately. The other organ that we don't think about is our brain. When we don't have enough water, our mental cognitive ability can go offline in a hurry. Brain fog, memory loss, reduced computation skills, anxiety, irritability, depression, and fatigue can all start happening with a 2% body water decrease. If you are chronically dehydrated, what happens? Think years and years of not getting enough water? Well, the brain cells can shrink, and it contributes to quicker cognitive decline in older adults. However, the biggest thing I want you to think about is mental and physical fatigue. In sports science, we know dehydration is the first thing that decreases physical performance. If you want peak performance from your mind and body, let's talk about how to ensure you are getting enough water daily! How Much Water? There has been a huge debate about this for as long as I can remember. The most common range is eight glasses of 8 oz a day (64 oz or ½ gallon) and up to 1 gallon daily (think the #75 hard challenge). I am not going to give you a specific number. I want you to pick a starting target point and work up to that number. Honestly, I have tried to drink a gallon of water in a day and cannot do it. This is sad because I wanted to complete the #75 hard challenge. (See the picture of water bottles—this was my attempt. This is what 1 gallon looks like in the water bottles I have at home). I have settled on a base number of 64oz daily, with more on days I am outside and active. How to Pick Your Number: 1- How many of your daily foods contain high amounts of water: fruits and vegetables vs. processed foods. (If you eat more processed foods and caffeine then you will need more water). 2- How physically active you are during the day. (More activity means more water). 3- Physical symptoms: Anxiety, depression, fatigue, cravings for food, and color of your urine. (Stronger means you need to increase your water). Strategies for Success: -Choose your water container carefully. Do you need multiple that you can fill up in the morning and track the amount by how many you drank? Do you need one container that you take with you? -Flavor matters: Do you like your water infused with fruits/herbs to enhance the flavor? Look for water infusion recipes. I really like raspberries and mint or lemon in the morning. There are also products like Liquid IV that can help with hydration and have different flavors. -Accessibility: How close the water is to your mouth and do not forget the bathroom. In the first few days your body will need to adjust to the increase in fluids. You may need to plan more breaks during the first week. - What will you do if you forget? Drinking lots at the end of the day will create a problem for good sleep habits… Setting an alarm every hour is one option. Figure out what time in the evening you need to finish by is another important number. -Get outside more. It helps you be more tuned into your body and needs. You will need more water but that can kick start or reset your thirst response. When you are chronically dehydrated your brain adapts and may send different signals like hunger. Lack of focus/motivation anyone?
ADHD symptoms?
Lack of focus Low motivation to complete tasks Difficulty with organization and management of tasks. Here are some of my favorite links for improving your symptoms. Natural Ways to Help ADHD | Dr. Daniel Amen Supplements: Methylated B vitamins and Methylated Folate L-Tyrosine Magnesiusm Vit D3 L-Theanine
Podcasts:
ADDitude Magazine: great resources for all ages and stages ADHD for Smart Ass Women- Tracy Otsuka
Organizing solutions: Susan Pinski
She has several good books but here is a free webinar. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMdPQ1j8Wd0 See her book below. ![]() Shallow breathing is linked to increases in anxiety and elevated heart rate. This can quickly cause a panic attack to individuals who are over-sensitive to their breathing rate. Individuals who practice deepening their breath into the lower part of the lungs often reduce the stress hormones, increase oxygen to the brain, and overall improve their mental health. By slowing the out-breath the heart rate decreases and a sense of relaxation can begin. Connect calming thoughts and a person can improve their mental functioning and resilience to stressful situations. Check out this article for some additional scientific details. Over time shallow breathing can lead to weakened lungs and diaphragm–the major muscle that contracts and pulls the air into your lungs. A lifetime of shallow breathing can result in a very weak breath which increases the risk of dying from pneumonia. This is one of the major causes of death in older individuals who have multiple chronic health conditions they are managing. This doesn't sound like fun so let's make it a habit to breathe deeply and strengthen your diaphragm. Bonus points: it also helps improve your posture. How To Do Deep Diaphragmatic Breathing Doing deep breathing starts in your posture. In order for your lungs to have enough room to expand you need to lift your sternum up, pull your shoulders back and make room for your diaphragm to expand down into your belly. Then slowly allow your ribs to expand outward. You can place your hand on the side of your ribs and feel the movement pushing outwards to help open and focus the mind on the expanding movements. Allow the air to fill the entire chest cavity, and then maybe just a little more. The diaphragm is a dome shaped muscle that when it contracts, it flattens downwards. This pushes the stomach out in front. As this happens the lungs fill with air. The lungs’ capacity is rarely reached in normal breathing, but when we focus we can get the oxygen rich air deep into the lower parts of the lungs where we have more surface area for the oxygen to pass into the bloodstream. This also allows for more carbon dioxide to be released from the body. Focus on deepening the air into the lower parts of the lungs and slowing down your exhale. The process of slowing down your out-breath allows more time for the oxygen to exchange place with the carbon dioxide. This makes the breath more efficient. This also begins to slow the heart-rate down and can decrease blood pressure. All of these small signals reach the brain and begin to downshift the release of stress chemicals that are being released, allowing the body to calm down. With practice, and by tuning into the body during the breathing process, a person can reverse anxiety symptoms such as tension in the neck, shoulders, abdomen, and can slow down overthinking and overwhelming emotions. Learning to live in the moment takes effort. Learning to guide our minds down healthy paths takes effort. Learning to listen to our body and soul takes effort. When we put this effort in, Miracles happen. We start to really listen to our earth. We start to really listen to our loved ones. We begin to hear what we could not hear before. We begin to feel empathy and understanding with out judgement or martyrdom. When we realize that the most important moment is now and act accordingly with the precious gift that we have been given, a whole new way of being begins to unfold before us. Yes it takes effort…#mindfullife #ecotherapy #peakwellness #meditation #mentalheaththerapist #meditationformentalhealth #mentalhealthcounselor #effort #liveinthemoment #livenow
Peacemakers do not avoid conflict. They do their best to resolve it by understanding each angle and encouraging cooperation.
Avoiding conflict is not always the answer or solution. Avoiding conflict can create a winner and a loser and often results in resentment. If you learn to give up what you want in a relationship to avoid conflict and bad behavior from another person, then it will be difficult to feel secure attachment with them. You risk losing the connection in the relationship and love can erode into depression, anxiety, and resentment that gets worse with time. Peace and connection come to relationships that are grounded in trust, openness of desires, continuity of communication especially when you disagree or have conflicting needs. Sometimes the conflict must hang out calmly for awhile until resolutions can be discovered. It can take time and effort. Giving in to another or manipulating another to give in to your demands destroys trust. It’s not peace. What you listen to helps frame how you see the world around you and how you see yourself. Sara Blondin has some very profound meditations that guide you on a journey of self-discovery. I often recommend my clients listen to her on Insight Timer's app. She also has several podcasts. The link is here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/live-awake/id1030019034?i=1000377436741
Illness & Chronic Stress. To start understanding this, I encourage you to watch Dr. Gabor's lecture on YouTube. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rik5E7wey0w
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AuthorBeckylynn Spotten is a Wellness focused Clinical Mental Health Counselor, Private Practice Owner, Meditation Teacher, Artist, Mom & Adventure Partner. Archives
January 2024
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